There is such an overabundance of things to speak of, to contemplate, to delve into with childlike vigor. But oh, where to even begin? I want to weep, I want to pour my heart out to a steady and unflinching friend, I just want to shoot up in effortless growth. It is evening; though truly it is much more of a dark and deep night kind of evening. There is a slick silence in the air. My heart has been crying all week, it has been reaching out towards the skies, thirsting for peace, for clarity, for those strong upholding arms of perfection. My mind holds sweet glimpses of untold wonder, of heaven's rays warming my ready soul. Jesus is so great, yet how easy it is to forget the simple but awesome fact of His glory, His depth of love, His perfection, His majesty! Why are we so incredibly blind? Lately, I have glimpsed the soft simplicity of coming to Christ as I child; no, as a mere babe, without ambition or anything to offer Him. "I am getting desperately afraid of going to heaven for I have had the vision of the shame I shall suffer as I get my first glimpse of the Lord Jesus; His majesty, power and marvelous love for me, who treated Him so meanly and shabbily on earth, and acted as though I did Him a favor in serving Him! Now wonder God shall have to wipe away the tears off all faces, for we shall be broken-hearted when we see the depth of His love and the shallowness of ours." --C.T. Studd

“When all is said and done, the life of faith is nothing if not an unending struggle of the spirit with every available weapon against the flesh.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost Of Discipleship- Jesus Christ has already done this work of victory. Upon that cross He placed every bit of my flesh. How can I but reckon this as fact; my sin has no dominion. Jesus must be Lord, not only Savior. Let us live in the truth and reality that our precious, might Lord Jesus made a way for us to walk in utter newness of life, in purity, and in sweet fellowship with Himself. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

"God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also [in the likeness] of [his] resurrection: Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with [him], that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.For he that is dead is freed from sin.Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:1-11

When it's all been said and done There is just one thing that matters Did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for you? When it's all been said and done All my treasures will mean nothing Only what I have done For love's rewards Will stand the test of time Lord, your mercy is so great That you look beyond our weakness That you found purest gold in miry clay Turning sinners into saints I will always sing your praise Here on earth and in heaven after For you've joined me at my true home When it's all been said and done You're my life when life is gone.

Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the LORD; awake, as in the ancient days, in the generations of old. ~Isaiah 51 Come Jesus, be seen in all Your glory and might. You must be seen in this generation!

How strange it is...

to be here again, facing the whisperings of Autumn as she slowly approaches. The year has come around again, finding me so different, yet so very much the same. Coldness begins to infuse the sun's grasping rays, colors erupt upon leaves making them alive and joyous to my imagination. As the seasons change, I myself feel a change. The freshly frigid air awakens a need for femininity and meaning. So much beauty surrounds this time of year, so many lovely memories of times past, such hope and inspiration. I am flooded with delight at the prospects of this newly sprung season.

Forgotten beauty and things of utter joy.

~The beauty of raggedly aged books; their parchment worn and frail, their binding delicate yet invitingly accessible.
~The sway of young trees against a fervent wild.
~The quite darkness of an autumn twilight, swathed in luscious silence and the light of a newly sprung moon.
~Rugged patchwork quilts, handpicked varieties of sun-ripened fruits and vegetables, softly sparkling pink lemonade, reading aloud as the sun bathes the world in life giving warmth: all equaling a perfect summers picnic.
~The laughter of children, sweet and pure, unapologetic and wonderfully certain.
~The brooding thoughtfulness of a blazing campfire, it's flames dancing alluringly upon the faces of it's audience, it's unmistakable heavy aroma engulfing the senses in dreamy delight.
~The precious feeling of unabashed love permeating the adventures of dear friends.

♥

Summertime includes, but is not limited to: Strong feelings of strange and rather unexplainable excitement, unexpected periods of spontaneous outbursts of joy and affection, the overwhelming need to be always barefoot, urges to live in the wild in makeshift tents, and the odd ability to be fully energized even when completely sleep deprived...
Summer is a glorious time in which reading five or more novels at a time is quite necessary and being always on the go is not even remotely stressful. The sun shines high above our heads with golden majesty, while we bask like kitties in her glowing warmth. Smooth icy tea is sipped, cool watering holes are swarmed with an abundance of little humans, and spontaneity is revered above all else. Summer reminds us of the sweetness and purity of youth and the grandness of true friends and unforgettable adventures. In this time of sunny smiles and exceptional tan lines, we are able to truly cherish the loveliness of freedom and the of inner-warmth of fond memories.

Have you ever come to the complete, and unabashed realization that you are indeed, utterly sentimental? Well, I certainly have...

There is something in me which likes to pop out occasionally, something that begs with a fiery passion to be shown a world of beauty and innocence. There are moments when I will stand quite still, looking around me in wonderment and contemplate the strange sights which greet my eyes; In these times I see such coarseness, such hardhearted rebellion in the many faces of my scattered society. The world is truly an ugly spectacle; lust is universally disguised as love. And true, unselfish love? It is bashed and mocked until it has become something quite unrecognizable. Beauty is not cherished, but rather it is sought after with greedy, licentious, crazed hunger. We do not love things for what they are, but instead for what they can do for us. Through all of this foolishness society has lost the meaning in life, the beauty of natural beauty, the knowledge of what love should be like, and above all the mightiness of our awesome God.

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the fire

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Shall we make it official than?

Spring has sprung.
Luscious grass has enveloped all space where once upon a time brown deadness was found. Winged little pollens float about in fluffy white masses, bearing sneezing and itches to all they happen to greet. And wildflowers, those dear little things, have just begun to shyly peak up their vibrant heads in welcome to this new season of color and warmth.
Spring seems to give me a strange sensation of change, or rather a strange need for change. I feel as though transformation is bound to take place. Spring cleaning of life perhaps...

Little imaginings & pretty pictures

You might think me strangely unconventional as apposed to the norm of my modern generation, but oddly or not, I have always enjoyed dreaming of my future home. I love to clean things, tidy rooms, and make everything around me organized and as pretty as it can possibly be. I do not dread housework, in fact, I rather enjoy it. I love the crisp sparkles of a freshly washed window pain, the perfect shine of a newly dusted tabletop, and a carpet's spotlessness following a good vacuum job. I enjoy thinking of my future, of the things which I hope to accomplish and the dreams I pray will one day come to be...

My future is of course not at all truly mine. It is in the hands of Jesus. My daydreams will or will not become reality, but I shall know always that His plans for my little life are unquestionably superior to my own. I dearly wish that I would grasp this truth with mature acceptance and child-like assurance. Sadly, this is hardly the case. I kick and scream as I tightly clench my own imaginary confidence and selfish desires. Then finally, I must fall to the ground as the pain I have inflicted upon myself shows it's repulsive face. Only than can I see what was before unseen to me. Only then do I realize I can truly do nothing without God. My willfulness shatters and the soft light of truth shines through.

All of this to say, I have yet a very long way to travel in my walk with Jesus. My faith is weak, and undeniably self-absorbed. However there is hope, though I am yet only a child, I shall remain a child of God. I am His, and He has given me the greatest gifts of all; His undying everlasting love, and the breath of life in my lungs. I am without doubt, amazingly blessed. I have the hope of future growth in Him, slow as it may be...

Well, I seem to have gotten off course in the general direction of this post. Anyway, I certainly still love imagining the dreams of my childhood coming fully to life in my mind. They are hopeful and joyously splendid...
These photographs bring my imagination to life, the quaint beauty of a cozy little life, simplistic in it's own way, and dearly creative. (:

I have a rather odd fetish with collecting old colored glass bottles...

CHRISTmas & twinkle lights

Every way I glanced today I saw lovely splashes of crimson among the freshness of winter's newly sprung greenery. There is something strangely exuberant about this sudden change of weather, something intriguing and wonderfully exciting. I love the feel of frigid air upon my cheek, as I gaze above to branches being whipped about in a brisk wind. My mind of late has been wondering off to thoughts of Christmas, I so adore that time of year. Wreaths hug on every lamppost, dancing fires in the hearth, tiny twinkling lights that transform even the plainest of structures into a festive wonderland, and a feast for the eyes of every passerby. It is a time of cheer and thanksgiving, sweet gatherings of celebration and heartfelt gratitude. I have realized that my excitement does not stem from the thought of piles of perfectly wrapped presents, rather it comes from a longing for the innocent beauty of Christmas. Surrounded by family and friends as we sing together carols of that little baby born in a stable so long ago, serving each other with unselfish love, giving gifts not out of obligation but of joy, finding pleasure in the simplest of tasks, and all the while remembering the true reason for this glorious season.


I love Christmas music. It has such a feel of old fashioned romance to it... though perhaps I should not say all Christmas music. Jingle Bell Rock and Frosty the Snowman were not exactly what I had in mind. No, the songs I speak of are as soothing and thoughtful as lullabies. Their words paint pictures of warmth and bring joy to me no matter what the current season may be. They share tales of angles and kings, shepherds and swaddling cloth, cleverly placed mistletoe and dancing ladies. Intertwined in them all is always joy, hope, and love...

Rain at last has come to me

My hands and feet are freezing right now, and I am wonderfully glad. The sky is moody and dark, and the trees are but soft silhouettes swaying in the whispers of a storm to come. Joy is in my heart, and my God has blessed me ever so much in the beauty of this waning day.

Good evening, my sweet October...

Autumn makes me want to dance about for joy! I feel so astoundingly giddy. Perhaps this is because of the weather, though more probably it is because of the massive amounts of Vicodin I have been consuming lately...wisdom teeth are such nasty things, truly they are.

Oh my dearest Fall, I am so in love with you! Your glorious colors have not yet come to my little town, yet a wonderful promise of them is in this crisp breeze that stirs the drooping branches just outside my window. Everyday now, leaves dance about unashamedly around my car as I drive to and fro, weaving paths for themselves in the brisk air. Occasionally one will snuggle itself in my windshield wipers and will stay with me throughout the rest of the day. I enjoy their company so much.

Musings after a long day

Ah, the days of childhood...
When dreams and ambitions seemed so easily attainable. And being an adult was only ever a distant, erroneous thought of fiction. When my sense of fun was derived from a worn out, aged playhouse, concocting mysteriously delicious mud pies, and dressing up in pink frills and plastic pearls. My dreams knew no bounds and my imagination ran wild in every direction possible. Those were the days of innocent bliss, ballet dances around the living room in my tutu, and journeys in a pealing little red wagon through the frontiers of our back yard. Life sorrows consisted mainly of scratched knees or early bedtimes...ah, the days of simplicity and faith as only a child has. Children are such beautiful & amazing blessings. It is so strange sometimes to think that at one time I was one...


I am hoping so much that this movie will be good, and unblemished by Hollywood's wicked ways. If they ruin it...I'll just cry.

watercoloring the day away...

I forgot how much I enjoy painting. It brings such a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment to me. I am reminded yet again of the blessing which art is. God graciously gave me something which I can truly love and take pleasure in. What an incredible blessing it is to be able to do something well. I feel considerably productive when painting and drawing. Art is one of those things which is not needed at all for survival. Without it though, the world would be so different, so strange... Art is only a feeble attempt on our parts to capture the amazing wonders of creation. Our workmanship will never, and could never equal that of the Creator. Yet it is a joy to be able to create something beautiful. No matter how small or insignificant it might be to others.


"Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow spot into the sun."
-Pablo Picasso

Songs for the stars

Here I sit, fingers at my keyboard, feet propped up quite comfortable on my little desk. It is late, and I should most definitely be sleeping. But instead, I listen. My window, which sits above the desk, is open; putting me in a perfect position to hear all the fascinating sounds of the darkness outside. Crickets are the most prominent voice to be heard. Their sweet twitters comfort me in a strange way. It is as though they sing songs of romance to the night sky, projecting everything they can from their small bodies. Thousands of them together, united in song, yet each with his own unique part. Every now and then a soloist can be heard. A voice of higher pitch to sing a new melody, and all the while the chorus continues.
How inconspicuous and common crickets are in the daylight. They seem only to hop around, doing nothing of any consequence, perhaps occasionally frightening a poor child suffering from insectophobia or something of the kind. Yet, when darkness comes, their true natures come forth in song. How lovely it is to hear. How rewarding to listen, if only for a moment, to the majestic sounds of the night...

Maple leaves & green tea...

Autumn is just around the corner, and I can hardly wait. Scarves and steaming cups of tea sound absolutely wonderful right now. I miss the rain, the sound of the wind as I doze off to sleep at night, and snuggling under massive amounts of fluffy blankets to find warmth. I am a sap for sweaters and pea coats, hats and scarves...I love fall colors; the crimson, the golden yellows, the deep ochre and beige's , the darkest chocolate brown mixed with a perfect emerald green... they all project such warmth, such feeling and marvelous beauty. Creation is truly breathtaking.

Cannons in the night

I am always reminded of this song when I look up at the night sky...
How small I am, how incredible His creation is, and how blessed I am to be able to see such remarkable beauty...


It's falling from the clouds
A strange and lovely sound
I hear it in the thunder and rain
It's ringing in the skies
Like cannons in the night
The music of the universe plays

We're singing, You are holy, great and mighty
The moon and the stars declare who you are
I'm so unworthy, but still you love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great you are

Beautiful and free
Song of galaxies
It's reaching far beyond the milky way
Let's join in with the sound
C'mon let's sing it loud
As the music of the universe plays

All glory, honor, power is Yours amen
All glory, honor, power is Yours amen
All glory, honor, power is Yours, forever amen

"To truly love others, we must first love God."

On Friday night, the day after getting back from Costa Rica, my parents & I went to one of the concerts in the Paso park. I was still terribly tired and hadn't planned on going at all, but last minute I went. It was the first time I had been out in society after getting back and it was a bit of a shock. I actually found myself being rather disgusted by many of the people around me. Everyone seemed so self centered, always trying to impress someone else, always taking...
Children were running around, screaming, many of them obviously spoiled. I found myself comparing these people, my fellow Americans, to the Costa Ricans I had just spent the last 10 days with. I found myself wishing I was back in the jungles, in a place that held so little of the daily distractions which accost me here in America. Suddenly though, I realized something...I realized how incredibly selfish my own thoughts were. I had just been blessed with an amazing experience, one that many people would never even imagine. Yet here I was, judging those who I had been called to love. I realized something else; Americans need my love, and more importantly Gods love, just as much as the poor hungry people of Costa Rica. It is so easy to think of missionaries as people traveling to other countries, but really we are all called to be missionaries, and not only to far off areas of the world, but to our own country, towns, and homes. And not only for a week here & a week there, but everyday of our lives. This is of course not something that is in any way new to me. I have heard it before, and have really always known it to be true. It is something that I obviously need to continue reminding myself. Gods word teaches us to love. Not just those who we enjoy, but everyone, our enemies included. How simple a concept this is, yet how incredibly difficult...
Anyway, I really must go to sleep. I'm still rather exhausted from Costa. Maybe it's jet lag...whatever it is I can't seem to get enough rest this past week.


“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." ~John 15:12